Strangers and games
Ages 5–8, 9–12
In games, some people pretend to be kids but they're grown-ups. A real friend is someone you know in real life. If anyone online asks you to keep a secret, send a picture, or talk somewhere else, come tell me. You won't be in trouble. You'll be helping.
Ask
- Who do you play with?
- Has anyone asked you to keep a secret?
Listen for: A new friend they have never met, or any secret.
If they push back: If they say everyone talks to people online, come back to the secret and the picture. That is the part you want them to bring to you.
Something scary or yucky on the screen
Ages 5–8, 9–12
Sometimes you'll see something that makes your tummy feel weird. That's not your fault. Turn the screen over or close it and come find me. I'll never be mad that you saw it. I'll be glad you told me.
Ask
- What should you do if a picture feels weird?
- Who can you tell?
Listen for: Shame, or a promise they made not to tell.
If they push back: If they think they will get in trouble for looking, repeat that you will not be mad that they saw it.
Robux and V-Bucks cost real money, the same money as groceries. If a game asks you to buy something, or someone offers you free Robux, ask me first. Free Robux is almost always a trick.
Ask
- What do you do if a game asks you to buy something?
- What if someone offers free Robux or free skins?
Listen for: A link they already tapped, or a password they shared.
If they push back: If they say a friend already got free Robux, treat that as the trick, not as proof.
Screens are fun, and so is everything else. When the timer goes off, you get two minutes to finish up. If you stop without a fight, that's how you earn more say later.
Ask
- Where does the phone charge at night?
- What happens when the timer goes off?
Listen for: A plan to sneak the phone back after lights out.
If they push back: If they say the timer is unfair, agree the game is fun, and keep the two-minute finish.
Some apps have a robot you can talk to. It sounds smart, but it's not a person and it can be wrong. Don't tell it your name, school, or where we live. If it says something weird, show me.
Ask
- Is the robot a person?
- What do we not tell it?
Listen for: They already told it a school, a last name, or an address.
If they push back: If they say it is their friend, agree it can sound like one, and repeat that it is not a person.
If they come to you
Ages 5–8
Thank you for telling me. You're not in trouble. Let's look at it together.
Ask
- Do you want to show me, or tell me?
Listen for: Fear that the device will be taken away.
If they push back: If they hesitate, repeat that they are not in trouble for telling you.
Why some apps wait
Ages 9–12, 13–15
I know everyone has it. Lots of these apps are built for 13 and up, and the safety settings only work if your age is right. I'm not saying never. I'm saying let's set it up the right way together, and you'll get more freedom as you show me you can handle it.
Ask
- What do your friends use it for?
- What would you do if someone asked you to lie about your age?
Listen for: An account that already exists under a fake birthday.
If they push back: If they say you don't trust them, separate the app's age rule from your trust. The settings only work when the age is real.
Strangers and moving off an app
Ages 9–12, 13–15
Here's the move that predators and scammers use: they're nice, they give you stuff, and then they say let's talk on another app. That switch is the red flag. You can block, leave, and tell me. I won't take your phone for telling me.
Ask
- Has anyone asked you to move the chat somewhere else?
- What would you do if they offered you something free first?
Listen for: A second app they were asked to download, or a person who will not stay on the game.
If they push back: If they say it is just a friend from the game, come back to the switch. A real friend can wait while you tell a parent.
Once a picture is sent, you can't control it. If anyone asks for a photo of your body, even someone your age, even as a joke, that's a no. If you already sent one, or someone's threatening you, come to me right away. You will not be in trouble. We'll fix it together.
Ask
- What do you do if someone asks for a picture of your body?
- What if you already sent one?
Listen for: A threat, a joke that is not a joke, or shame.
If they push back: If they say everyone does it, repeat the second half: if it already happened, they will not be in trouble.
If a picture is already being used as a threat, use the Something happened page. Call 911 if there is immediate danger.
Group chats and drama
Ages 9–12, 13–15
Group chats can get mean fast. If you're getting picked on, or you see someone else getting picked on, screenshot it and show me. You don't have to fight it alone, and you don't have to join in.
Ask
- Which group chats are you in?
- What do you do if people are being mean and you didn't start it?
Listen for: A chat they are afraid to leave, or a screenshot they already have.
If they push back: If they say telling will make it worse, offer to look at the screenshot together before anyone else is told.
Spending and scams
Ages 9–12, 13–15
No gift cards, no free-skins links, no giving anyone your password, not even a friend. Real companies never ask for your password in a message.
Ask
- What does a real company never ask for in a message?
- What do you do with a free-skins link?
Listen for: A password already shared, or a gift card already bought.
If they push back: If they say a friend needs the password to help, that is the moment to say no and tell you.
AI can help with homework, but it can make stuff up, and it's not a friend or a therapist. If you're using it to talk about something heavy, I'd rather you talk to me, or to a trusted adult if I'm not the right person.
Ask
- What is AI bad at?
- Who can you talk to if the conversation gets heavy?
Listen for: They are using a chatbot as the only place they talk about how they feel.
If they push back: If they say you wouldn't understand, name another adult they trust. Don't make yourself the only option.
If they talk about hurting themselves, call or text 988 in the US, and call 911 if there is immediate danger. This script is not medical advice.
If they come to you
Ages 9–12, 13–15
I'm really glad you told me. I'm not going to freak out. Let's figure out the next step together.
Ask
- What do you need from me right now?
Listen for: They are bracing for a punishment.
If they push back: If they start with don't be mad, answer that before you ask for details.
Privacy and trust
Ages 13–15, 16–17
I'm not trying to read your messages. I'm trying to make sure the settings protect you from people you don't know. As you show me you can handle it, I'll loosen things up. Some things stay locked no matter what, and I'll tell you which ones and why.
Ask
- Which settings do you want more say over?
- Which ones do you already understand have to stay on?
Listen for: A second account you don't know about, or a setting they already turned off.
If they push back: If they say you don't trust them, name the specific setting and the reason. Don't make it about their character.
Nudes and sextortion
Ages 13–15, 16–17
I want to say this once so you know where I stand. If anyone ever threatens you with a picture, real or fake, even if you sent it: don't pay, don't delete anything, stop replying, and come to me. You won't be in trouble. People who do this are criminals, and there are ways to get images taken down. You are never on your own with this.
Ask
- What do you do if someone threatens to share a picture?
- Will you be in trouble for telling me?
Listen for: They already paid, or they are in a conversation right now.
If they push back: If they say it is too late, say it is not too late to stop replying and tell you.
The official steps are on the Something happened page. NCMEC says cooperating or paying rarely stops the blackmail, and says to block the account without deleting it. Call 911 if there is immediate danger. In the US, call or text 988 if they are in crisis. This is not counseling.
Deepfakes
Ages 13–15, 16–17
Apps can now fake a nude photo of anyone from a normal picture. If that happens to you or a friend, it's not their fault, and it can be reported. NCMEC's CyberTipline (report.cybertip.org or 1-800-843-5678) takes reports, and NCMEC says Take It Down can help with real or AI-made images. Making or sharing one isn't a joke. It can seriously hurt someone and get you in real trouble.
Ask
- If a fake nude showed up of a friend, what would you do with it?
- Who do you tell?
Listen for: A picture already circulating in a group chat.
If they push back: If they call it a joke, separate the joke from the harm. Sharing it is the part that hurts someone.
The image has to be on that person's own device to create the hash. Participating platforms can use that hash to look for the image or video on their public or unencrypted services. That is not a guarantee the image will come down. NCMEC describes this at https://www.missingkids.org/theissues/generative-ai. The steps are on /something-happened.
Mental health and feeds
Ages 13–15, 16–17
Feeds learn what keeps you scrolling, even when it makes you feel worse. If your feed starts showing you stuff about hurting yourself, not eating, or feeling worthless, that's the app, not you. Tell me or a trusted adult. And if you ever feel like hurting yourself, you can call or text 988 anytime.
Ask
- How does your feed leave you feeling lately?
- Who else could you tell if you didn't want to start with me?
Listen for: They describe the feed as the only thing that understands them, or they mention wanting to disappear.
If they push back: If they say you are overreacting, don't argue about the app. Ask how they feel after they scroll.
988 is the US Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988, or start at 988lifeline.org. Call 911 if there is immediate danger. This page is not medical or mental-health care.
Meeting people
Ages 13–15, 16–17
If you ever want to meet someone you only know online, tell me first. Public place, a friend with you, and I know where you are. If they push back on that, that's your answer.
Ask
- Who would you tell before you met someone from online?
- What would it mean if they refused a public place?
Listen for: A meetup already planned, or someone pushing them to keep it secret.
If they push back: If they say you would embarrass them, offer a version that still includes another person and a public place.
Phones charge outside the bedroom at night. It's not a punishment. Everyone sleeps better, me included.
Ask
- Where do our phones charge?
- What time is the cutoff?
Listen for: A second device that stays in the room.
If they push back: If they say they need it for an alarm, use an alarm clock or a charger in the hall. Keep the phone out.
If they come to you
Ages 16–17
Thanks for trusting me with this. I'm on your side. What do you need from me right now?
Ask
- Do you want help deciding, or do you want me to just listen first?
Listen for: They need a practical next step more than a speech.
If they push back: If they say don't tell anyone, agree you will decide the next person together, unless someone is in danger.