Short answer: AI can be a patient tutor when your kid uses it to explain, quiz, and give feedback on work they wrote themselves. It turns into a ghostwriter when it does the work for them. Start with the age rules (ChatGPT is 13 and up with a parent's permission, and Gemini stays off on a supervised account for under-13s until you turn it on). Then let each class's AI policy settle the rest.
Last verified 2026-10-01 against the official sources listed with this post.
If your kid asks a chatbot for homework help, that isn't automatically cheating, and it isn't automatically fine. Raising Bytes is written by a dad of three who works in cybersecurity, and we'd skip the yes-or-no question. The useful question is: who's doing the thinking?
Do this tonight
- Ask which AI tools they use for school, and on which account: their own, yours, or a school account. Ask out of curiosity, not to catch them.
- Check the age rules below against the tools they named.
- Look up the AI policy for each class. Rules can differ from school to school, class to class, and even assignment to assignment. If you can't find it, ask the teacher (questions below).
- Show them the study tools. In ChatGPT, type @study in the message box, or tap + and pick Study. In Gemini on a computer, go to gemini.google.com and click Add files → More tools → Guided Learning.
- Agree on three or four house rules (our list is below) and write them down.
The age rules, from the companies themselves
- ChatGPT: OpenAI's terms say you must be at least 13, and anyone under 18 needs a parent's or legal guardian's permission. OpenAI's educator FAQ says ChatGPT "is not meant for children under 13," and that if it's used in education with kids under 13, "the actual interaction with ChatGPT must be conducted by an adult."
- Gemini: Google says you must be 13 or older (or the applicable age in your country) to use Gemini with a personal Google Account you manage yourself. For a child under 13 with a supervised account, a parent has to turn Gemini on first.
- Claude: Anthropic's consumer terms say you must be at least 18.
- School accounts: If your kid uses AI through a school Google account, their school's administrator decides whether Gemini is turned on for that account.
Tutor or ghostwriter? Where the line is
OpenAI's own writing guide for students is blunt about it. Generating an essay instead of writing it yourself, it says, "deprives students of the opportunity to practice, improve their skills, and grapple with the material." Google describes the helpful version for younger kids: if they're stuck on a tricky math problem or a book report, Gemini "can give them clues and explanations to help them figure it out themselves."
A simple test your kid can use: could I explain this answer to my teacher without the screen?
Tutor moves (usually fine, if the class allows AI):
- "Explain this like I'm in 7th grade."
- "Quiz me one question at a time, and tell me what I got wrong."
- "I think the answer is B. Help me see why, without telling me."
- "Here's my outline. Where does the argument get weak?"
Ghostwriter moves (the problem):
- "Write my essay on…"
- Pasting in a worksheet and copying the answers.
- Asking AI to reword something so it won't look copied.
ChatGPT's study mode is built for the tutor side. OpenAI says it "can guide you with questions instead of giving the answer right away," and can quiz your kid and give feedback. OpenAI is also candid that there "may be times when it gives a direct answer," so the habits still matter more than the tool. Gemini's version is Guided Learning. Google says two extras, practice quizzes with feedback and answers from OpenStax textbooks, aren't available yet to users under 18 or on work or school accounts (and are US/English only for now). Guided Learning itself isn't covered by that limit, but Google is still rolling these tools out in the mobile app, so what your kid sees may differ.
By age
Under 13: AI with you, not alone
Our pick: you sit together, and your kid does the thinking out loud.
- OpenAI says that when ChatGPT is used in education with under-13s, the interaction must be done by an adult. In practice, that means you type, and they answer.
- Gemini stays off for a supervised child under 13 until you turn it on. In Family Link, select your child, then Controls → Gemini → Gemini Apps. Google emails you when your child first uses it, and you can switch it off at any time.
- Google suggests exploring the tool with your child and supervising their use while they learn how it works.
Want help with the phone setup itself? Setup Coach is $19 once, for every kid in the family. It walks you through it on your kid's actual phone, plus an email when a verified setting changes, for 12 months.
13 to 15: study mode as the default
Our pick: link accounts, schedule Study hours for homework time, and use a "show your work" rule.
- Link your ChatGPT accounts: Settings → Parental controls → Add family member, then invite your teen by phone or email. Once they accept, select their name under Family members to review or change their settings. Linking doesn't let you read their conversations.
- Turn on Study hours. It's off by default. When it's on, eligible new chats start in study mode during the times you pick. It doesn't block ChatGPT. Quiet hours is the setting that blocks use at certain times, like bedtime.
- "Show your work": your teen should be able to point to the parts they wrote and the parts AI helped explain.
For the full list of teen controls, see our guide to ChatGPT parental controls for teens.
16 to 17: independence, plus transparency
Our pick: they manage it. You check in on the habits, not the chats.
- Say how AI helped. OpenAI's student guide suggests creating shareable links to your ChatGPT conversations and including them in your bibliography, so the person grading can see how it contributed to your thinking. Use it only if the class allows AI, and follow the teacher's instructions.
- Fact-check anything that counts. OpenAI says study mode "can make mistakes" and to double-check important information, especially for homework and exams.
- Keep the thinking theirs. OpenAI's guide suggests asking ChatGPT for counterarguments to test a thesis. That's a great use, as long as your teen writes the response.
What teachers expect: check, don't guess
We can't tell you your school's rules, and no blog can. They vary from school to school and class to class. OpenAI's own help page says: "For graded work, follow the AI-use policies of your school, instructor, or organization." It also says study mode "does not replace your teacher, tutor, course materials, or academic requirements."
Questions worth asking at the next conference, or in a short email:
- Is AI allowed in your class? On which assignments?
- Which parts can it help with: brainstorming, feedback, studying, or none?
- Do you want students to say when and how they used it?
- Does the school provide an AI tool or account?
House rules that keep the work theirs
- Your words, your work. AI can explain. You do the writing and the solving.
- AI asks, you answer. Use study mode or Guided Learning for homework.
- If you used it, say so, in whatever way your teacher wants.
- Check anything that matters against your textbook or notes.
- Keep private stuff out. Google advises kids not to share their address, school name, or family information with Gemini. That's good advice for any chatbot.
- The teacher's rule wins whenever it's stricter than ours.
Want the bigger picture on chatbots, companion apps, and parental controls? Read Your Kid Is Probably Already Using AI: What to Check Tonight. Our free checklist covers ChatGPT, Gemini, and your kids' other apps, no login needed.
Guidance, not a guarantee: settings change; check the linked help pages.
Raising Bytes is independent and not affiliated with, endorsed by, or sponsored by OpenAI, Google, Anthropic, or any other company mentioned. App names are trademarks of their owners.